The FiFi Report 108
28 October 2005
issue 108

“She’s a jealous, ugly, anorexic idiot” Paris Hilton was overheard fuming into her mobile phone ( was it about Mary-Kate Olsen or Nicole Richie? Who knows, that describes everyone in Hollywood)
“I was going through that phase everyone goes through. .I lost 20-25 pounds. I was on IV drips. I nearly died.”. Lindsay Lohan going through that phase everyone does: getting an IV drip.
‘I’m always trying to put weight on. I’m an eater - and I love junk food. I’m going to wake up one day and I’ll be triple my size and I’ll say, ‘Ha, the joke’s on me!” Sarah Jessica Parker ( that’s what Lindsay Lohan said too.No Joke).
“It’s a very potent accessory, you can be completely naked — and I know people will think I only talk about nudity — but you can put on a pair of eyeglasses and look like the Fifties, you can look like the Seventies or you can look like the Nineties.” Tom Ford only talks about nudity.
“I said to the doctor, ‘I don’t have any flat shoes! What am I gonna do?’ I was conditioned, I was brainwashed ( on SATC) for seven years that I have to wear heels…” Kirsten David on her ankle injury (just pop on some Tom Ford sunnies and you’ll be fine).
“ Sex really does sell, so I’ll be doing loads of that.” Kelly Osbourne (One problem you actually need to be sexy). Tom talk to Kelly please.
“I’m 38 and I don’t need to get it out any more. My mom told me I’ve got beautiful eyes and a beautiful smile, that’s what a man wants to see.” Pamela Anderson on why she has had so many boob jobs. Tom, talk to Pammy.
“ I’ve been dreaming every night about UFO’s I can’t wait to go to sleep at night because those dreams have been so brilliant. I think they are definitely on their way, seriously Mark my words From now until 2012 - watch out “ Robbie Williams talks to extra-terrestrials. Or was he just dreaming of Tom Cruise?
‘ It’s a dream come true. I feel great, I’ve never been so happy, I’m beaming.” The week just isn’t right without a quote from Tom Kat
“Please don’t use my words out of context.” Oh, we would NEVER do that George Clooney

Skype

This is the every girls dream come true. “Skype is a little program for making free international phone calls anywhere in the world over the internet to anyone else who also has Skype.” Not cheap because it’s actually free. Which makes it incredibly chic. You may have already downloaded it but for those of you stuck in a media vacuum go to Vanity Fair and all about it. Then log on to , download and start chatting…

Funkis shift dress

The great thing about wearing a dress is that you don’t need to waste time thinking about what you are going to wear. Just toss it on and zip it up. Part of the retro 60’s look the dress is THE hot item seen on all the runways for next summer ‘06. Time to start investing in the trend now. The best dress I’ve found this season is from Funkis. In the most gorgeous Marimekko style cotton fabric, it’s a cute, little sixties shift dress cut in an A line. Available in all those funky funkis colours, go for black, white and grey or the fabulous red floral print. Getting dressed has never been so quick! Which means you’ll have hours to spend deciding on the right shoes and bags.
$155 Funkis shift dress http://www.funkis.com

Rimmel London Volume Flash Mascara

All the sobbing over the bags in Prada has forced me to take action. This week I bring you the results of FiFi’s Road Test of Mascaras. I’ve tried Napolean (average) Estee Lauder Lash XL (not bad), Covergirl (not so waterproof) but I have two favourites. The tried and true Max Factor Calorie 2000 waterproof mascara (see FiFi #55). Trust me, I’ve cried all over the Lanvin at Belinda time and again without any reapplication. The other favourite is the Rimmel Volume Flash waterproof mascara. It gets the lashes looking long and sexy, doesn’t clump and I’m sure this would stay on through Katrina and Wilma. How do I know? I opened up my Amex bill.

$19 Rimmel London Volume Flash Mascara from major department store.

issue 108

The book launch for Tsubi at the Chateau Marmont in LA drew the honor roll of Hollywood starlets and fashion insiders, including Selma Blair, Mena Suvari, Jeremy Scott, Alexandra von Furstenberg and Mary-Kate Olsen. Lindsay Lohan swung her long red mane as she gyrated to Guns N’ Roses’ “Sweet Child O’ Mine” in a Pucci minidress. The sixth-floor suite overlooking Sunset Boulevard was packed with gold-colored books, simply called “Tsubi Book 2000-2005,” that chronicled the history of the renegade label owned by George Gorrow and Dan Single. “We hit the ceiling at home, it’s about time to get another adventure.” http://www.tsubi.com/ WWD.
The October issue of US Conde Nast Traveller is all about travel in Asia: a must read for anyone heading over there. http://www.concierge.com/cntraveler/.
Everyone is talking about Sam Mendes’ new movie ‘Jarhead’ with Jake Gyllenhaal: it’s about the Iraq war. http://www.jarheadmovie.com/welcometothesuck.html
Check out this cool hotel in Miami: .http://www.setai.com/
Film director Anthony Minghella and his wife, choreographer Carolyn Choa are now staging his first opera, Madam Butterfly at the English National Opera.
Traveling to China? China Help Line is the first telephone-based interpretation service serving the foreigners who live, work and travel in China. http://www.chinahelpline.com/
Valentino received the Fashion Group International Superstar Award from Meryl Streep and will shoot a cameo appearance in “The Devil Wears Prada” while he’s in New York.
Nicole Kidman is in the movie so head to London to see the exhibition of Diane Arbus’ gritty black-and-white images at the Victoria and Albert Museum, through Jan. 15. Featuring almost 200 photographs taken from Arbus’ estate, as well as from public and private collections, the latest exhibition is the first major showing of her work since 1972. http://www.vam.ac.uk/
In Gucci’s most philanthropical initiative to date, the luxury goods house has teamed up with UNICEF to support the 15 million orphans, most in south central Africa, who have lost their parents to AIDS. The brand’s creative minds have designed 15 products that will be sold in 200 Gucci stores worldwide Nov. 22-Dec. 31. The range is made up of precious ostrich bags, silk scarves and scintillating Christmas decorations, all featuring Gucci’s signature green-red-green ribbon that is appropriate for the festive season.wwd
The New York Times are calling it “the Selma Blair witch project.” The actress was just photographed in the abandoned Harlem Valley Psychiatric Hospital in upstate New York, posing with live snakes, iguanas and a hairless cat for a fashion story that will run in thenext Sunday Times Magazine. “Selma was great,” said the Times’ Alix Browne.”At one point, the stylist said, ‘She’s really going for it’” — that was right around the moment Blair put a live rat in her mouth.” Ewwww. WWD

www.style.com

Everyone is in the nude…
http://www.style.com/w/feat_story/100505
See Tom Ford in the nude in the latest W

http://www.robbiewilliams.co.uk/getmore//
Robbie Williams will stop at nothing for publicity…see it shake, rattle and roll (another flop?)

issue 108

Paris Hilton and Stavros Niarchos are in love.
Kate Moss has checked out of the Arizona rehab clinic.
Janet Jackson had a secret child about 18 years ago.
‘Janet Jackson has decided to be old-fashioned and have her publicist deny reports that she has an 18-year-old daughter. This surprisingly calm and rational objection either means that she actually has nothing to hide, or she ran out of nipples to distract us with. I would normally say the latter, but Janet Jackson always has a nipple up her sleeve” The Superficial.com.
Victoria Beckham has fuelled reports she and David are converting to Scientology, after she was spotted reading a book from the controversial religion. (What? Victoria Beckham can’t read.)
Jude has been getting close to his ex-wife Sadie Frost again.
Paris Hilton has been left red-faced after a photo was released of her at Tom Sizemore’s home, days after she denied she had even met him.
Jessica Simpson and Nick are not getting divorced yet
Vince and Jennifer Aniston have been holed up in a villa in West Hollywood
Keira Knightley has run back into the arms of her ex-boyfriend Jamie Dornan
Nicollette Sheridan is desperate now she has split from her fiance.
Kirsten Dunst was at the center of a mystery yesterday when police where called to Harvey Nichols in Knightsbridge while she was shopping. The actress was photographed leaving the store alone after her security guard and a photographer were questioned.
Michael Jackson plans to make Bahrain his permanent home.
She’s best known as the clean-cut face of Estée Lauder, but Carolyn Murphy’s profile is set to go the way of Paris Hilton’s with rumours of a raunchy sex tape doing the rounds. According to Page Six, the two-hour video is full of X-rated scenes, which were filmed with ex-husband Jake Schroeder over 17 days in Barbados It is thought the footage was stolen from Schroeder – although the man himself doesn’t appear too bothered. “Yes, a video was stolen,” he said. “But let it be in the public eye. It doesn’t really affect my life; it’s Ms Murphy who has to worry.” A spokesperson for Murphy told the paper: “We don’t know what’s on the tape - or if there really even is a tape - so we can’t comment on that’
Givenchy model, Mariacarla Boscono, has become the first to pick up one of the contracts Kate Moss lost and is the face of the new H&M collection
Renée Zellweger, was photographed actually eating (not sure if she swallowed)


This Little Piggy Went To Prada: Nursery Rhymes For The Blahnik Brigade by Amy Allen
A new book of ‘twenty-one revamped, tongue-in-cheek, name-dropping nursery rhymes’ is now available, with 10% of all profits being donated to Save the Children. The publishers (Spy Publishing) describe ‘This Little Piggy Went to Prada’ as ‘a gorgeous gift for the designer-nappy-bag generation.’

“There was a young woman who lived in her Choos,
Though she once had a house in a smart Chelsea Mews.
So much on Jimmy,
The house had to go,
And with it, her Amex and husband in tow! $25http://www.thislittlepiggywenttoprada.com

The Christmas List:
Jean Paul Goude: So Far, So Goude (Hardcover) by Patrick Mauries
So Far, So Goude represents Goude’s work from the late 1960s up to the present. An autobiography it moves with unusual honesty and a good deal of humour through his teenage love of dance (his mother was a Broadway dancer), sport and jazz; his youthful hangouts in the sixties; his years at art school and his discovery of drawing as a means of seduction; his time at Esquire; his revolutionary work with Grace Jones for Jungle Fever; his videos for MTV and for Azzedine Alaïa; his advertising work for Lee Cooper, Chanel, Cacharel; his involvement with the Bicentennial Parade; his wife and family. So Far So Goude is the definitive book on the work of an extraordinarily innovative, talented and unorthodox man. Fascinating.
$40 http://www.amazon.com/Publisher: Editions Assouline (October 15, 2005)

issue 108

Before you head to the shops, keep this mind for next summer ‘06 from Style.com “The most compelling message to emerge for spring was that true beauty lies in strong juxtapositions: wafery nude dresses with dramatic patent accessories, rock ‘n’ roll tees with bcbg pleated skirts in gloriously stiff gazar, simple sheaths softened with folkloric lace. Minimalism returned—in trouser suits, sixties 2-D frocks, white shirts and khaki pants, and a skin-tone palette—but always softened by craftiness, ethnic sampling, or old-fashioned preppiness”
Economy: David Jones: Check out the really cool caftans here by ‘The Two Mrs Grenvilles’ They have a sequin neckline but are in chic white black or brown and are big, oversized and a bit sheer $69. Go for the longer version ( cover those legs!) with Indian embroidery $159. Sportsgirl; check out the white V neck tops with silver lurex crochet trim $79; the prettiest ever - perfect for the beach- little dress with shoe string straps, broderie anglaise inserts and tiered skirt in white, and black and also in an OK green $115; the cacherela skirt still here $79. The crinkle wrinkle tanks here are a must have in all wardrobes. In every colour they have wide straps so you can wear a bra under them $19 and no ironing needed. Bliss. Also check out the black cuffed shorts $59 and the lose grandpa 3 buttons tops $24; the groovy white jeans $89; the crop white jeans $79 and the nice white side pocket shorts, very Chloe $59. There are some groovy chiffon dresses for the races I presume: a purple floral strapless one $189, a green V neck, very 50’s for $149 and a orange and green tropical print halter neck is $179. Check out the fab watermelon and red tie-dye dress $99; the gorgeous red and orange swirl sheer print caftan top $99 and the dark denim side pocket shorts $69. There is a copy of the Hippy trippy Gaultier peasant skirt ( think it was Cate Blanchett who wore it months ago) is here $99. Buy the fabulous, big, square oversized sunglasses for $29. Finally here. There are fab vintage looking silk headscarves $15,and fab beads on leather thong $29. Esprit : check out the cute shrunken blazer in camel cotton $119 with patch pockets, a la YSL; the white side pocket pants $79; the grey and white seersucker stripe jacket $119. Witchery check out the groovy, dark grey utility bag $149 ; a choc brown distressed leather Chloe bag $169 and a cool slouch bag in tan and choc brown with brass studs and a long strap $179. There are cotton black or white espadrille wedges $69; cute round toe pumps $129; little pintuck white cotton caftan tops $79 and if you must there is a beaded caftan here in choc brown with chic brown beads too $119. I see way too much lilac here and am so over hippy skirts every where. Do you see Kate or Gwyneth wearing them? No. I rest my case. There is a lovely white, wide neck caftan with pretty plain embroidery across the neck $99; You may this to the beach, I allow you too. There are some fab short cuffed shorts (Kate and Gywneth love them ) and also black to the knee shorts are here $89. There is a nice black cotton sundress too $99. Veronika Maine: Love the Miu Miu Prada esque stripe purple red, brown and lilac knit polotop $125; the cool, drop waist, pleated dark grey, heavy silk skirt $199; the black, ruched, chiffon, sexy, very evening cami with diamante brooch is $209; and the handy dark grey cotton fitted stripe jacket is $269 Kookai: check out the 40’s retro print halter top $149; the boob toobs are a must buy to wear under jacket (for those who can) $39 in every colour. There are great bags here in tan, very Chloe for about $89 (I didn’t say they were leather.).Cue: Love the stripe red and brown tanks, so good I bought one myself $89, the brown pleat blouse $189; the cute cap sleeve YSL tan satin safari shirt $104. There is a very chic tulip shape skirt in stone with wooden buttons, very chic $129; a very Chloe crop cotton camel trousers $179 and navy, dark grey pinstripe jacket $269 – good for work. The Luella bag is here in canvas $160. Buy the chiffon steel grey dress with red straps $269. Accessorize: they do have (I repeat) a very good copy of the coach /Prada green canvas tote with green pleather straps $39. General Pants now sell Keds http://www.keds.com/mischabarton/ cute site..Nine West: Check out the stripe pink cork sandals $129; satin ankle peep toes $179 and the mini platforms , very YSL in black or stone with a 40’s style front knot $149
Business:
Gary Castles: Check out the fab red snakeskin heels that lace up the leg $299; the cute Prada style wedges in snakeskin $250 and the heels in gold and silver $250. Saba: check out the gold sequin knit capelet , also in black $245; the cotton sateen chic shorts $145; a black sheer chiffon cami $195, an African print black and cream print DVF dress $245; a pretty chiffon cream and multi flower print dress ( racewear) $495; the cute crop white cotton trench $345 and the black cotton jersey drape top with sequin trim $125.There are beautiful grey fabric cuffed shorts $255. Morrissey: I like the white hippy, cotton dress with Chinese embroidery on it , beachy, very peasant but cute $179; the gold lurex tank $139; the cute little African mini dress in cotton jersey , very cool in orange and brown $129; and the DVF wrap dress in African print $199.The very groovy baggy, front pleat trousers in camel cotton are very 80’s, Run DMC (ewww!) only for the very adventurous out there $149 and there is a cool white waist coat $149. Edward Meller: They have a Luella bag from last season (which Cue did in winter) in a chic red, or brown $179; a dark green leather bag so very Prada ish with pockets on the outside $235; and if you want lower kitten heels and classic shoes for work here then I suggest you go shop here.Bettina Liano: love the natural linen gold jacket $680; the narrow trousers same fabric $389; the white jeans $225 and the nice orange/red print chiffon caftan top $358. The muslin cotton story is chic too, buy the white ruffle front shirt $295 and the longer version black goddess top $420. .Zomp Shoezs: there are so many great shoes here. Check out the T bar sandals $170 in bronze, gold or black and the seriously jewelled heels $149; and all the fab flats on sale. Funkis: the jewellery here is gorgeous, check out the divine heavy handcrafted beads on leather $69 in browns. Mimco: the bags charms are really groovy $99; with all sorts of dingle dangles and objects hanging from them from horns to red little cubes. Dinosaur Designs: Just head here for all bangles and necklaces and beads. They are all divine and so are the silver pendants on leather. Lisa Ho: Checkout the cream cami with broderie anglaise insert $323; a cute stone cotton cami with silver gleam $319; and the beaded caftan is rather lovely at $497. Check out the fab swimwear here from around $140; the snazzy choc and cream print cotton jersey ‘Aquarius’ dress $489 and the peacock print, black multi colour ‘phoenix dress’ $520 is chic.

First:
Prada; I came to pray at the alter to see what the high priestess of fashion is preaching. Let us shop: The Prada Sport A/W is here and the prices are not bad at all. it’s all rather classic, perfect to pull out for the winter months; go for the zip front grey or black or cream knit sweater $670; the choc puffa jacket $1030;also in black and the grey wool pleated skirt $780. Buy all the tan and vintage looking leather bags with the gold hardware around $2000. The lady like square 50’s style handbags are here with the huge Prada ‘coat of arms’ stamped on it $2000. You want the divine mini platform red patent heels/ sandals $680 , the black and red rose print satin skirt $1680; the same in a coat $4000, and the drape front dress $3100. There are more fabulous jewelled brooches just arrived, if you wear a brooch you may as well make it Prada. Buy the wool melton black shift dress with lace detail on hem $1300; the classic black V neck sweater , big and floppy, $900 and the burgundy silk zip up bomber jacket . The round black ballet flats with gold rivets are THE best $700 and so are gold flat sandals $600. The silk sheer secretary blouse is divine and so is the camel wool skirt $1900. You want the black and brown rose print pleated satin skirt $2000 and the coat in the same print. No really you do. Amem. David Jones: Love the bag section in the city store, it’s great. Check out the Chloe beaded jewelled evening croissant bags $1950.( under lock and key). The Chloe double zip and heavy silver ring chains straps in black is divine $2150.Bally bags are here too and they are gorgeous go for the cotton canvas ones. The YSL distressed brown tan leather bags with embellished stones and jewels and gold details on the front as rather fabulous and I haven’t seen them anywhere else The small ones are $1995 and the larger ones are $2150 There is a fab YSL bag with bras studs all over it $2000. Chloe: don’t forget to head up stairs to the Seven Floor for all the divine Chloe collection. Evelyn Miles: Please buy the fabulous Miu Miu tan brown platform sling backs: the shoe of the season! Who cares if they are outrageously high $548. Book the limo, walking is so last year. Belinda: MLC; The dries Van Noten here is amazing but the individual pieces don’t work so much alone. it’s the way its worn in such an eclectic way that makes all the pieces work. Boho chic at its best.

Patty cakes

Patty cakes
Need to whip a lovely afternoon tea in the spring garden? Here is the perfect recipe for simple but classic patty cakes…from Marie Claire Cooking

For 24 little cakes you need:
11/2 cups self raising flour
2/3 cups caster sugar
155g unsalted butter
3 eggs slightly beaten
¼ cup milk
1 teasp vanilla extract

naughty but nice whipped cream for filling

·Preheat oven to about 180
·Throw in the flour, sugar, vanilla essence,butter, beaten eggs and milk into a bowl.
·Whip them, whip them good
·Till all light and as fluffy as Robbie Williams.
·Moisturise a muffin tray and fill with patty cake cases.
·Spoon the mix into the cases, being careful to lick the beaters, the bowl and the spoon.
·Fill cases to about ¾ full
·Throw in oven and cook for about 20 mins or until they are lovely and tanned as Stavros Niarchos on the beach with Paris Hilton
·Let them cool and lop off the top of the cakes to fill with whipped cream
·Sprinkle with icing sugar.
Sweet!

issue 108

In Her Shoes….. Directed by Curtis Hanson
The Plot: skinny, pretty, groovy sister is illiterate but gets the guys, less skinny, serious sister is a lawyer and doesn’t. But she has great shoes. They fight. Makeup. fight. Go to Miami to discover Shirley Maclaine is their grandmother. They makeup and then everyone cries.
Who: Cameron Diaz, Toni Collette, Shirley Maclaine.
Acting: Toni and Cameron are type cast. Shirley Maclaine is great but looks like an alien.
Photography: Boring. Yawn.
Interiors: Love the 50’s funky furniture in the Miami nursing home. Far too groovy for the grannies. The production designer used it just so he could take it home after the shoot.
Wardrobe: Cameron was obviously paid to show as much skin as possible. She has no wardrobe. Toni Collette has a HUGE collection of the most amazing shoes ever seen this side of Tamara Mellon and she doesn’t wear them. Ever girl knows that would NEVER happen. It’s like having George Clooney in bed and saying you have a headache.
Smooches: it’s a rom com.
Smokin’ Smooches: I can’t remember so the answer is no.
Car chases: It’s a chick flick, they are banned.
Botox: Shirly Maclaine looks like she’s drunk the stuff.
Waterproof mascara: Compulsory. Gucci Tissues necessary too.Seeing all those divine shoes, unworn, sitting all alone unwanted in the wardrobe just made me weep.
Best reviews: ‘While for many guys it will take a woman they’re really, really interested in to drag them to this sort of high class soap opera, women and more emotionally flexible men should have little trouble becoming involved in this tale of sisterly love/hate.’ Variety.
Worst review: “If movies were scratch-and-sniff, In Her Shoes would be a cloying blend of patent leather, melon lip-gloss and potpourri sachets.” MINNEAPOLIS STAR TRIBUNE.
See it or donate to the Prada bag/save Katie fund? Oh, go on and see it, even if it’s just to trial all those waterproof mascaras ( and there is no saving Katie now).
http://www.inhershoesmovie.com/

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23 August 2012

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