“ Plastic surgery is my life. I just gave my parrot a beak job” Joan Rivers
“The next product I’m going to put my name on is extra-small condoms. I can never find extra-small condoms and I know it’s really embarrassing for people.”. Enrique Iglesias (anyone for tennis then?) He needs a beak job.
“She looked amazing. I watched with my mouth open all the way through her performance. She’s an absolute legend and she makes us all look like amateurs. I can’t believe she’s 89 and looks like that.” Robbie Williams on Madonna at the MTV awards (more than just a beak job)
“ You can’t trust the internet. Someone told me there was this website with my head on other people’s naked bodies doing lewd, crude, and totally unacceptable things. But the real drag of it was that my body is much better than their bodies… My God, at least do me justice.” Nicolette Sheriden pretends it was not her doing lewd, crude, unacceptable things on the internet.
“It makes sex better, believe me, the first time I did it, the technician did half, and I was like ‘Stop!’ She said, ‘Sit down, I have to finish.’ But then it gets easier. The more you do it, the less hair grows back. But yeah, I love it. I swear by it. Every woman should try a Brazilian wax once. “ Eva Longoria enough of your lewd crude unacceptable details (obviously not sleeping with Enrique).
” When the [bleepers] try and hem you in with Bond, it’s great to come back with ‘The Matador.’ It’s great to say, ‘[Bleep] you, [bleephole]. [Bleep] you who wouldn’t give me a job. [Bleep] you who thought I was some wuss. [Bleep] you, who thought I was a pretty boy. [Bleep] you, who thought anything of me without even knowing me or giving me the chance. [Bleep] you.” Pierce Brosnan on why he was dropped as James Bond ( bleeping incoherent).
“What relationship? Are you sure? I don’t know about that. That is news to me. Oh God! Are there pictures of them together? Are you kidding? “ Paris Hilton’s mum on finding out what her daughters been doing with Stavros Niarchos ( Subscribe to The FiFi Report Kathy Hilton!)
“ this is the dumbest decision I’ve ever made in my life - it went like this: If a man really loves me, he will not have to love me for my body. He will really love me just for me” Kirstie Alley on choosing bleeping boyfriends. (Paris Hilton’s boyfriends are never like that).
“ I don’t know why gays love me because I hate them. Who are you people and do your mothers know what you do!?! I am all for gay marriage, though. Why should only straights suffer the misery of divorce” Joan Rivers…
“ Plastic surgery is my life. I just gave my parrot a beak job” Joan Rivers
Head to ebay to buy fabulous fashion at great prices and donate to a worthwhile charity at the same time. “This is the first-ever online global sample sale, which runs from November 10th to December 7th 2005. There are literally thousands of exclusive, one-of-a-kind, impossible-to-find items up for grabs for women, men, kids, and the home. This is shopping with a heart. Every single cent raised from 7th on Sale Online will go to the CFDA-Vogue Initiative to help those suffering from AIDS and HIV.” Get bidding, you may find a bargain!
Minimalism has gone to my head. So anything bling has gone south to my feet. This summer it’s all about the embellished shoe. From sexy heels to flat sandals the beaded shoe is the easiest way to detract attention away from last season’s little black dress you’ve pulled out of your wardrobe. Head to Prada at David Jones for the divine, black beaded, bejewelled flats with a purple graphic prnt sole $750; to Belinda for the Marni leather toe thongs if there are any left, to Cosmo shoes for all the fabulous Jimmy Choos. Or go to Midas for some cute T bar sandals with shell detail $198; Sachi in Myer for blue and red beaded toe thongs $150 and Sportgirl for fabulous heels with jewels along the front $79. There‘s never anything wrong with a bit of embellishment.
There is nothing worse than lugging around a huge bag in the evening just so you can touch up your makeup after dinner. Wheeling a bag or hiring a valet to carry it all into the ladies is getting embarrassing. Which is why I adore the fabulous new YSL multi use makeup charm bracelet. In gold it has 3 little YSL palette compartments dangling off the bracelet so you can reapply your makeup without even opening up your bag. It’s tricky getting your wrist up to your face, holding the bracelet still and then reapplying with my other hand but I’m learning. Vanity feels no pain.
$99 YSL Multi Use Makeup Charm Bracelet from David Jones (limited edition so hurry).
A 6ft 6 in photograph of a female nude taken by the late Helmut Newton set a new auction record for his work at Christie’s in London this week. Big Nude III, a classic full-frontal image taken in Paris in 1980, was bought for £176,000 by a British private collector.
Teddy’s is the new hip bar just opened inside the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood. http://www.hollywoodroosevelt.com/
Check out this cool hotel in Venice http://www.capisanihotel.it
Need a new jet? Go here http://www.dassaultfalcon.com/aircraft/900dx/
Going to Marrakesh check out this hotel http://www.caravanserai.com/
Don’t let the Balinese suffer any more,book in here http://www.thebale.com
Head to the first Aman resort in the Caribbean http://www.amanyara.com/
Off skiing in France for Christmas? Conde Nast Traveller gave this rave reviews http://www.marcveyrat.fr/aller/megeve/index4.htm
Or try this gorgeous groovy hotel near Chamonix http://www.hameaualbert.fr/
Maybe just go to the Bahamas and stay at India Hicks’ hotel as seen in US Vogue….divine http://www.hibiscushillharbourisland.com/
Or just book in here .. http://www.harbourislandlanding.com
Carine Roitfeld, editor in chief of French Vogue and a key consultant to Gucci during the Tom Ford era, has officially made the leap to designer. She’s the latest guest designer for sweater firm Lutz & Patmos, which recently collaborated with filmmaker Sofia Coppola. Roitfeld’s contribution to the spring collection is a cashmere sweater dubbed the “tramp” with elbow patches and strategically placed rips and tears. Wwd
Cookie is a new magazine launched in the US “Vogue for mommies.” http://www.cookiemag.com/
The model Petra Nemcova who lost her boyfriend in the Tsunami has published her autobiography “Love Always, Petra.” She described it as a story about unconditional love, including the many strangers who sacrificed for one another in the tsunami. Bless
Bored at work? Sick of doodling on your boss’s photo? Head to this cute site to play with paper doll cut outs of celebs from Jennifer Aniston to Anglina Jolie. It’s fun, it’s free! It’s totally immature!
Still bored? Go here to torture Dubya any way you want….use the mouse to fling him about….hours of fun!
It’s official: Lindsay Lohan and Jared Leto may or may not be getting married
The superficial .com says ‘Halle Berry is trying or is already pregnant. Either that, or people have confused the lump on her foot as a sign of pregnancy. I know I’ve made the same mistake once or twice’.
Jessica Simpson is facing a barrage of criticism from humanitarian agencies after she allegedly interrupted a 10-day charity visit to Kenya with a $1,500 safari; despite insisting she was too ill to visit local children. (Probably true. All those starving children should make her sick with guilt about her stupid life)
Jade Jagger has just relocated from Ibiza to London full-time.
Kate Moss is planning to leave London for good and was spotted in New York.
Paris Hilton and lover Stavros had a car accident (relax, no one was hurt).
Kirstie Alley has lost 55lbs. That’s a lot of fat.
Britney has thrown out K Fed (as Kevin Federline) after he was dirty dancing with Ashlee Simpson. Or maybe it was the corn roll haircut. At least Kev’s trailer park kept his spot free for him
The court battle between OK! and Hello! magazines over Catherine Zeta Jones’ wedding pictures will go to the House of Lords,
THE world-renowned photographer Lord Lichfield was being treated in hospital last night after suffering a stroke.
Page Kennedy, who plays a fugitive from the law on “Desperate Housewives,” was fired from the hit ABC drama for improper conduct,( flashing)
See Jake Gyllenhaal nude in Jarhead ( NSFW… not suitable for work!) http://socialitelife.com/mt/archives/jake_gyllenhaal_takes_santa_to_a_whole_new_level.php
Michael Jackson will never live in the states again (the feeling is mutual)
Tom Cruise sacked his sister as his publicist. (wonder why?)
Hot off the press: Mischa Barton and Cisco Adler went grocery shopping.
My Prescription for Anti-Depressive Living by Jonathan Adler.
This sounds like a great book: My Prescription for Anti-Depressive Living explores Jonathan’s own tongue-in-cheek design “manifesto”. The book is a visual feast, jam-packed with images of interiors and objects for the home, both those designed by Jonathan and those that have inspired him. See the Parker Palm Springs, a desert resort that Adler gave a head-to-toe makeover as well as images of the three homes (in Greenwich Village, Shelter Island, and Palm Beach) Jonathan and his partner, Simon Doonan, share with their dog, Liberace, and five other private residences.” Fabulous.
$23.07 Publisher: Regan Books (November 1, 2005) http://www.amazon.com
The Christmas List
Class Act William Haines: Legendary Hollywood Decorator (Hardcover)
by Peter Schifando, Jean H. Mathison
‘William Haines came to Hollywood after winning a new-talent contest in 1922. He appeared in over twenty films as a leading man to many of Hollywood’s famous stars, including Joan Crawford, Marion Davies, and Constance Bennett. As Haines’s film career dwindled, his self-taught decorating skills flourished. Many of his costars became his first clients, and later he designed the homes of the film industry’s elite, including movie mogul Jack Warner and director George Cukor.’ Glamorous!
Publisher: Pointed Leaf Press (November 30, 2005) http://www.amazon.com
Supre: Love all the boobs tubes here for $15, there are short or long versions and they are in every colour. Check out the cute long cotton peasant dress with broderie anglaise inserts $59 perfect for the beach ;the cargo shorts in choc brown and black are $45; and the baggy shoe string loose tops $15.MNG: They have next winter in store and I am in love with the very Lanvin esque, Louis Vuitton style princess coat. In black wool, it has a gorgeous, very 40’s style pleat back and wide collar $349. Lovely. Not too heavy for Sydney winter. Also check out the purple twisted cami $54; the black Gucci style, artist smock, empire top in silk with a belt $129 (for the skinny types); a belted Moleskin D/B belted trench is gorgeous in stone $289; the pleated cotton Victoriana shirt pleated in cotton $59 is a must buy for this season and next. Buy the chinos cop pants and ditch the awful scarf belt $119.There is a funky crop gold lurex sweater $49;a white, chunky knit cardigan $79 and please buy the Prad esque deep V neck long, long cardigan in oatmeal, looks expensive and it’s just $79. Perfect to wear with a belt. And last but not least buy the cute hoodies in red, and darl grey and green $49. Esprit: Check out the floppy waisted T-shirts on sale for $39; the black tiered dress now $99; and the leather Indian toe thongs are cool in gold $59. There are some classic jeans $99; classic linen crop pants with drawstring waist, perfect for the beach in lots of colours at $69. The graphic print cream and black strapless dress is a great buy $99.Mollini: The navy and white stripe espadrilles are so very French $89; the patchwork, round toe flats are cool $148 and so are the gold versions and the black and white snakeskin ballet flats $148. Also in cream python. Buy the white cracked leather T bar heels $148 and the fab black jersey fabric roman flat sandals $99; and the white toe thongs with green/orange/white leather chain front $128.Just Jeans: Have a very Sass & Bide grey goddess halter tops with serious sequin panel up the front $89 (or is it a dress?); check out the fab navy and white stripe tank with a white tank under it $59; the white jeans and the Indiantoe thongs in white and bronze $19. Nine West: Check out the sale: Buy the very YSL mini platform knot front heels, very next winter $99; the purple satin ankle strap heel now $99 and there is a new, very Miu Miu style hobo bag with serious handicraft and beading on it $59. Veronika Maine: Check out the chic, chiffon, dress with buttons down the front and a fifties skirt $349 in black; the sheer purple blouse with cap sleeve $145 with a ribbon belt and V neck; and the Prada eque stipe red and purple brown polo top is still here.FCUK; Check out the loose purple halter top $79; the skinny jeans $139; the green crop cargoes are a great dark colour $79 and the long khaki cargos (you are allowed to buy the long ones if you just wear them to the beach) $119. There are some white baggy linen pants with a self belt $119.Speedo: Love the basic tankini here in black with silver ring detail $69 and the fab cotton kaftan tops in white or orange $31. Also the brown and cream stripe swim wear is cool and so is the black eyelets lace up bikini $79.
Cue: Check out the new pinstripe stone and blue jacket $179; a fab caramel sateen shirt dress $249; gorgeous baggy side pocket pants $165; the A line classic black skirt $119 and the fab oatmeal wide baggy pants $139. There is a camel chiffon, 40’s dress $249; a ruffle sleeve dress in navy $139; a red rib wool tank is chic for $85; the crop round neck shorts cardigans are handy for $79 and buy the black puff sleeve empire blouse $145 and the dark grey sheer 40’s dress with grosgrain belt $249. Buy the sheer black blouse with a drawstring ribbon waist $225 and the caramel sateen crop pants $148.Country Road: Lots new in store: check out the chic, choc brown or dark grey sateen shorts $129; the faded cotton short, shorts $79; the Chloe green satin pleated party dress with diamante straps $399; the grey washed slouch pants are cool $129. Check out the little floral trilby hat $79 and of course the fabulous taupe silk trench is a winner $349. Check out the white peasant top, a good buy ( not shoe string straps so you can wear a bra $89.) There is a chic white beaded caftan $139. How cool are the gold flat sandals? $129 David Lawrence: Check out the bronze/choc satin cami; very handy $89; the white jeans $119; the white broderie anglaise cami top and the cool roman lace up sandals in black $119. Mimco: love the jewellery here: go for the bracelets, very chunky and in great colours from $49; the fab beads around $69 and the amazing white oversized almost weekender bags $399. The big sun hat is a must buy for summer $79. Max & CO: check out the new winter collections arrived in store: there is a brown velvet jacket with a ruched back $435; the matching trousers , a cord stone jacket $440 and matching a pants $240. I see ‘that’ Tom Ford dirty pink from 4 seasons ago re-emerging here for winter. What the? Please don’t torture me again. In the summer collection buy the pink/orange/red knit hoodie $330; the black zip long sleeve top with silver studs detail $289; the navy and white sundress $320 and the chic white broderie anlgaise dress $440.Zimmerman: Check out the green drop waist sun dress with a silver paisley print $418; the white muslin long sleeve victoriana blouse $275; the blue paisley silk halter dress is gorgeous $407; grey plunge neck dress is $330 and the grey satin silk top $345. Buy the aviator sunglasses here and the fab swimsuits of course.
Bally:There are some fabulous new summer pieces here. Check out the divine peep toe sling backs in black with a bow $595; the white gathered leather peep toe heels $675; the black or white eyelet belts with silver hardware are the go $295, (will fix up any daggy thing sitting in the back of the wardrobe). Check out the small, stone, structured, lady like handbag with silver buckle $900; the black studded little clutch and the gold peep toe heels with a bow $525. There is white tall, slouch bag with drawstring sides and a horn handle $1100; a red or white messenger bags with the signature stripe strap ( it’s stunning but casual!) $695; the red and cream and black B bags in canvas are gorgeous $595 and buy the divine chocolate suede handbag with silver hardware and ring detail ; wear now, wear next season, wear with jeans or take it out for dinner ( it will be hungry) $999. Then buy the brown and taupe printed B canvas tote with leather trim $695 and the matching flat slides $395.
Evelyn Miles: see the new website: http://www.evelynmiles.com.au/
Drool over the Jimmy Choo purple satin peep toe with the HUGE green jeweled toe $1500; the Zanotti cement suede square toe flats with a pearl and jeweled toe $898: the Zanotti gold peep toe with a wedge and jeweled T Bar $898; the Zanotti bronze or gold peep toe heels $898. Buy the next winter Miu Miu divine tan platform sling backs with gold stud toes $ 648, the Barbara Bui plum lizard, platform peep toe $798; the Sergio Rossi round toe stud pumps $898 and the YSL lipstick fabric, red and cream sling backs $598; and the YSL toe knot black satin ankle straps $758. There are some tan, chunky heel round toe boots by L’Autre Chose $758 and the animal print snakeskin wedges are cool $898. There are a few new shoes here; The shoes from the groovy label Dsquared will be in store today for about $1200. Not cheap but very groovy and looks very similar to the finish on Jimmy Choo ( you’d hope so for that price).
Christensen Copenhagen:There is some new DVF dresses in: Go for the black halter dress with silver pattern and big satin black bow $950; and the navy, cap sleeve blouse $425. Check out the Marlene Birger pretty chiffon blouses which are a great buy, perfect for now, perfect for next winter. There is a black or light blue round neck blouse with a scattering of black beads around neckline $550; the same version in a chiffon dress $650; the Audrey Hepburn bow front black ‘Nerida’ cocktail dress $525; and a Paula and Joe V neck drawstring sweater with a fake white collar shirt attached under it $350 in red. Buy the Marlene Burger light blue blouse with puff sleeves and round neck $330; also in black; the Marlene B blush chiffon tie front shirt with a black buttons down the front and bell sleeves $325; the Paul & Joe pretty pink and yellow check seersucker check sundress $350 and the Petit Bateau red and white stripe fisherman long sleeve sweater. Fabulous for $110. Yes, not a typo but the right price
Lamb fillet with eggplant, salsa and yoghurt
Easy, slimming, and delicious this is perfect for summer nights with carnivores. The fresh crunchy chilli salsa is served cold with the warm, spicy, cumin lamb and topped with tangy yoghurt. It’s fabulous with or without the eggplant .
You need for 4
Lamb fillets for 4
2 tab ground cumin ( use more if you want )
1 large eggplant
1 green capsicum ( chicer than red, the green goes with the cucumber)
1 green chilli ( ditto …go for red if you must )
1 small red onion.
½ bunch coriander or more
2 teasp fish sauce
1 tab rice wine vinegar
1 tab of minced garlic and ginger
¼ cup mint
·Whip out the mortar and pestle and give the cumin seeds a good crushing or use ground cumin
·Rub the cumin onto lamb (How? with your hands)
·Slice up the eggplant into thickish slices
·Cut up the cucumber into little tiny cubes
· Cut up the capsicum into cute little cubes ( very nouvelle cuisine)
·Cut up the chilli into tiny, tiny bits.
·Get the coriander leaves off the stalks.
·Chop up the mint .
·Pour a big glass of wine.
·Now throw on your new over sized sunglasses ( from Cotton On: they cost less than the meal at $19).
·Chop up the red onion and thank the lord for the new waterproof mascara.
·Throw the salsa together i.e that means the cucumber, chilli capsicum, onion and coriander.
·Throw the eggplant on the griller or cook with lots of oil (not so slimming) in a fry pan.
·Keep an eye on the eggplant and when its cooked let it cool while you cook the lamb and reapply your lipstick.
·So get grilling the lamb to your liking.
·Mix the dressing ingredients together
·To serve slice up the lamb into chic pieces and layer (it’s big this season) the lamb on the eggplant and drizzle with the salsa and then the yoghurt.
·Accessorise with a few mint and coriander leaves
Fabulously delicious, …it’s a must cook for summer .
Elizabethtown …..directed by Cameron Crowe.
The Plot: Handsome hunk gets sacked from a Nike style shoe company. Wants to kill himself, then his father karks it. He flies to retreive the body from Elizabethtown and meets a stalker who daylights as a flight attendant. Then it gets worse: Susan Sarandon does a tap dance.
Who: Kirsten Dunst, Orlando Bloom, Susan Sarandon
Acting: Kirsten Dunst is outrageously unlikeable, Orlando left his acting skills with Peter Jackson.
Photography: The poster is photographed better than the movie.
Smooches: not enough .
Best line in the movie: “ You’ve failed, failed, failed, failed, failed ( or was it failure?). Audience!Now repeat to Cameron Crowe.
Rottentomatoesmeter: 29% of good reviews (that’s 71% BAD ones ).
Best worst review: How could this vacuous movie have got made? Didn’t anyone at Paramount, which paid for the film, read the script? At times, the movie became so boring that I experienced the uncanny sensation that I could physically feel the film passing through the projector. As I counted sprocket holes, my sense of what the movie was “about” simply dissolved, and the projector threw onto the screen meaningless images of children screaming, a memorial service going awry, landscapes unfurling outside a car window” The New Yorker or “An off-the-map disaster…the New Orleans of 2005 movies.”
Movie Mistake:While Drew’s father was laying in the coffin his chin twitched slightly, once in each shot.
Salon de Beaute: Orlando’s hair goes from curly to blow dried straight in one scene. Kirsten’s hair extensions are very obvious. Kirsten says” I do my own endorsing in Elizabethtown – I use my friend’s make-up line, Deluxe. I’m painting my nails with her nail varnish.”
Tom Cruise /Alien sighting? Tom Cruise was executive producer. No wonder this is a complete mess of a movie. Watching him jumping the couch made more sense than this.
When Harry met Sally romance Richter scale: There are bits that are 8/10
See it or donate to the Prada bag/save Katie fund? The Prada bag or watching the handsome Orlando Bloom for hours? It’s a pretty hard decision. Both are delicious. He may be worth $10. http://www.elizabethtown.com/home.html