“Wonder Woman would be cool. I’m trying to find roles right now that are different to anything I’ve done to show my abilities, to show that I have some sort of stretch in me.” Lindsay Lohan knows that playing wonder Woman will be quite the acting stretch. ‘Unless Wonder Woman has been re-imagined with the power to make her boobs magically disappear and reappear. Because Lindsay’s got that move down cold’ The superficial
“The worst experience of my life, the worst experience, the worst film.” Jennifer Aniston on all her movies? No, just on Rumour has it. She’s forgotten about the others. Wonder Woman.
“We’ve talked a lot about this. I’m not proud of this struggle. (While anorexic) itjust seemed like I literally wanted to disappear. And now I would like to reappear.” Portia de Rossi ( then start eating).
“ She’s put her very successful career on hold to get married and have a baby. Lots of women do that but there’s something that just doesn’t look right here. The husband? I don’t know. I’ve just never been a big fan. ” Donald Trump describes Britney and Kevin. ( he wants Kevin to disappear) .
“I did not have implants, I just had a growth spurt.” Britney had a baby and a growth spurt
“ I’m attracted to guys who are really confident and make conversation.” Oh Britney .
“I think people need to get to know me a little bit more, and that way when we do something, people will respect it that much more.” Kevin needs RESPECT. (Just disappear).
“What is such a big deal about nudity? If the person’s in the bedroom with a sheet covering them, that’s more of a lie than seeing a saggy old butt.” Sharon Stone describes Donald Trump
“Darling, pay your 10 bucks and see for yourself like everyone else.” Sharon Stone when asked if she uncrosses her legs in Basic Instinct 2.
“Hs a Texas guy. We have lots of Texas stuff to talk about” Jessica Simpson describes George Dubya (Please disappear).
“I think there’s a difference between ditzy and dumb. Dumb is just not knowing. Ditzy is having the courage to ask!” Jessica describes George Dubya again. Dumber and Dumber.
“Over the next three hours, Doherty will smoke crack, shoot heroin and take ecstasy’. He does all of this casually, and openly, except for the shooting up, which he performs near the kitchenette, with his back to us. He offers me heroin and ecstasy but not crack. I decline” Rolling Stone’s Mark Binelli on Pete Doherty. Dumber and Dumber. He’s about to disappear.

They’re lurking in every home; a drawer or box full of ripped out recipes. Like the missing sock drawer you know everyone has one. But there is relief in sight. The fabulous simple, white, recipe book from Freedom. A 3 ring binder, it has plain white pages with a clear white plastic cover and opaque white plastic dividers. Chic. The only annoying words on it are on the front page which can be ripped out. With 123 recipes on The FiFi Report it’s time to find the glue and get started. Ignore the sock drawer. The mystery of where they go will never be solved.

$29 Recipe Book from Freedom

salesalesalesalesalesalesalesale
Marie-Claude Mallat Winter 06 Sample Sale.
Thursday March 30th & Friday March 31st
8:30am – 5:30pm,
Level 2, 2-12 Foveaux St, Surry Hills
ZIMMERMANN COLLECTION FROM $50.KATE SYLVESTER FROM $50.SYLVESTER FROM $40GINGER & SMART FROM $20.FLEUR WOOD FROM $30 CASH ONLY!!

Words to send you shivers up your spine: Over the limit. Muffin top. G string bikini. George Clooney is gay. One word to strike fear into any woman’s heart: Leggings. They’re baaack. They were all over the runways for next winter. Lanvin, Prada. Marc Jacobs. Exhibit A: Sienna Miller is wearing them. Here’s the scoop on how to wear them if you are not:
Wear under a mini skirt or a dress.
Get the right length so they stop at the thinnest part of your leg.
Don’t wear them with trainers go for ballet flats or heels
Cover your bum with a peacoat, a jacket or a long V neck jumper and belt.
If you want the look of Vikki Pollard (Little Britain) best stay at home. Please.
Leggings from Metallicus $25 or Voodoo $13 from David Jones

Everyone relax! Everyone stop looking! I have found the miracle cream. The Palmers Cocoa butter skin firming lotion. It’s “clinically proven to help increase skin’s firmness in 6 weeks”. It does seem to firm the skin it’s just the fat under the skin that is still flabby. Damn. But it’s a really lovely cheap but chic moisteriser, sinks into dry skin, is not too greasy and is fragrance free which means it doesn’t clash with the Chanel No 19. Plus I am happy to report that my arms have definitely firmed up; after applying it vigorously twice a day all over for months those arms really do get a great work out.

$12.95 Palmers Cocoa Butter Skin Firming Lotion from pharmacies 1800 640 043.

Off to London? Check out the Tate Britain Triennal curated by Beatrix Ruf, http://www.tate.org.uk/britain/exhibitions/triennial/
Screening on BBC 2 in the UK in 2006 is THE LINE OF BEAUTY, dramatised by Andrew Davies from Alan Hollinghurst’s Booker Prize-winning novel.
Prada agreed to sell the Helmut Lang brand to the Theory business.
A snazzy white hotel in Frankfurt: “The Pure looks like a spotless white utopia … or a hellish prison of perfection you can never attain, depending on your self-image. I’d love to go in with a squeeze bottle of ketchup just to liven up the decor. The hotel has an overwhelming whiteyness” says gridskipper.com. See for your self http://www.the-pure.de“
Meet Trufflepig -” We’re a tiny travel company with a big nose.Trufflepig likes variety in travel. We dig it perfectly classic or downright odd, astronomically expensive or cheap as dirt, real, authentic, characterful, and quirky. Trufflepig connects the dots. If you’re curious, dig in. http://trufflepig.com/
This is a cute little hotel in France http://www.hoteldentraigues.com
The first designer hotel in the Alps: http://www.ischglmadlein.com/
This looks divine; the former house of Somerset Maugham in the south of France is now a 15 room B&B….http://villa-mauresque.com/
Fancy a train trip? Go to the Orient Express trains and cruises http://lapapalace.com/web/luxury/luxury_travel.jsp
Check out a new hotel in Granada Spain, a converted 19th century Palace; Hospes Palacio de los Patos http://www.designhotels.com.
Prada chief Patrizio Bertelli and wife Miuccia Prada launched the new Luna Rossa yacht in Valencia, Spain.
MISSONI will open its first hotel in Edinburgh in 2010, then in Kuwait and Dubai.
Infamous is the name of another movie about Truman Capote to be released later this year. it stars Daniel Craig (the new James Bond) as Perry Smith, Toby Jones as Truman Capote, Sandra Bullock as Harper Lee, Gwyneth Paltrow as Peggy Lee and Sigourney Weaver as Babe Paley. Fabulous

http://gawker.com/stalker/
‘Gawker.com has launched a new “Gawker Stalker” feature that pinpoints the locations of readers’ random celebrity sightings on the Internet, using a Google map of Manhattan. The map us updated daily with readers’ sightings, down to the exact time, restaurant and cross-streets. Early Tuesday afternoon, there were sightings of Nicole Richie (”petite and cute”), Naomi Campbell (”telling her assistant to hurry up”), Ashanti (”her perfume reeks”) and Kenny Rogers (”looked exactly like he’s had a ridiculous amount of work done”).”This is a dangerous thing,” said publicist Stan Rosenfield, who represents George Clooney. “Someone could get hurt over it. You don’t know who’s reading it.” Don’t hurt George. Please.

http://www.cse.unsw.edu.au/~geoffo/humour/flattery.html
This is what we need every morning. Just put in your name ….

Katie Holmes is about pop any day now.
Paris and Nicky Hilton are to make a cartoon about their lives. Cartoon? A documentary.
It’s splitsville for Scarlett and Josh.
Naomi Watt and Liev Schreiber are dunzo too.
Breaking news Brad Pitt has taken up smoking again … does Angelina Jolie know about this?
Sofia Coppola’s Marie-Antoinette has been selected for the Cannes Film Festival.
Donald Trump and Melania had a son – Barron William Trump.
Prince is being sued for painting his house Purple.
The main thing missing from the much-rumored wedding between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie was the bride and groom. Oh and George Clooney.
Paris Hilton has split from Stavros Niarchos - and gone back to Paris Latsis.
Harrison Ford has confirmed he will make another Indiana Jones movie.
George Clooney and Vince Vaughn are locked in a fierce battle over who gets to play Magnum in the big screen version of the TV classic. As if Vince could do it.
Ellen Barkin almost died from choking at Sunset Tower Hotel’s Tower Bar but Hollywood agent Kevin Huvane saved her with the Heimlich maneuver. (she saw her divorce settlement).
Rumours of royal romance in Denmark have been confirmed after Prince Joachim openly declared his love for French girlfriend Marie Cavallier.
Jake Gyllenhaal and Kirsten Dunst are apparently thinking about giving their relationship another try for the sake of their dogs. Woof woof

Chronicler of the Winds: A Novel by Henning Mankell Tiina Nunnally(Translator)
“A beautifully crafted novel that is a testament to the power of storytelling itself. In an African port, a ten-year-old boy lies slowly dying of bullet wounds. He is Nelio, a leader of street kids, rumored to be a healer and a prophet, and possessed of a strangely ancient wisdom. One of the millions of poor people “forced to eat life raw,” Nelio tells his unforgettable story over the course of nine nights”. Bless.
$15 http://www.amazon.com Publisher: New Press (April 15, 2006)

The Christmas List
Dictator Style by Peter York, Douglas Coupland
“Welcome to the fabulous lifestyles of the cruel and despotic. Peter York’s wildly original and scathingly funny look at the interior decorating tastes of some of history’s most alarming dictators proves that absolute power corrupts absolutely, right down to the drapes. Mining rare, jaw-dropping photographs of interiors now mostly (thankfully) destroyed, York’s hilarious profiles of 16 inner sanctums of the scary leaves no endangered tiger pelt unturned, from Saddam Hussein’s creepy private art collection to General Noriega’s Christmas tree to the strange tube and knob contraption in the Ceausescu bathroom. All your favorite dictators are here: Hitler, Lenin, Stalin, Tito, Mussolini, Mobutu, Idi Amin, Ferdinand and Imelda Marcos—each with their own uniquely frightful chic. An interior decorating book like no other, Dictator Style is a welcome tonic for a world in need of a good laugh at the expense of the all-powerful.” Brilliant!
$15 http://www.amazon.com Publisher: Chronicle Books LLC (June 1, 2006)

It’s the Fashion issue! You’ve been begging, crying, pleading and now all your fashion troubles are over. It’s here! FiFi’s Must have Buys for winter…

What: A chiffon blouse
Why: They replace the knit, perfect for transseasonal weather and part of the romantic trend.
Where: Scanlan & Theodore, Zimmerman, Witchery. Bettina Liano, Gucci, Wayne Cooper
Wear: Go for ruffle or Victoriana, plain or with a pussy bow front. It needs to have big bell sleeves. In purple, black , red or nude.
With: jeans, tucked into a skirt with a belt; with skinny pants and under a coat or shrunken jacket

What: Skinny dark denim jeans
Why: skinny is new, they replace the boot cut flares, and dark denim looks more expensive.
Where: Just jeans, sass and Bide, General pants, Tsubi
Wear: Wear with round toe flats, wedges, everything in your wardrobe. Tip: Get your favourite flares taken in: that way they will fit around your bum.

What: A peacoat
Why: Always a classic they never go out of fashion. Part of the mod trend they are perfect for Sydney weather when you don’t need a big winter coat and you want to look more casual
Where: Target, Just Jeans, Country Road, Max & Co and Belinda.
Wear: Look for black or navy, in velvet, with military buttons, and choose one that stops at the belt or just covers your bum – the one from Country Road is perfect. With jeans, narrow trousers. Over a stripe T. For work with a pencil skirt.

What: Long round toe boot
Why: Boots will transform any dress into a winter look. Round toe looks new (unless it’s a Chanel pointy boot). Indispensable for a groovy edge.
Where: Mollini for a cuffed boot, Midas for a wedge, Witchery, Evelyn Miles and Belinda
Wear: With everything. A pretty chiffon dress a la Burberry, with jeans tucked in, with a pencil skirt , with shorts. Love them in a wedge or with a chunky heel. Buy black and brown and wear them now all the way through to November.

What: A big, oversized, statement bag
Why: because you can put your life in there, because a statement bag will razz up anything from last year in your wardrobe, because you will use it every day, because life revolves around the it bag.
Where: Belinda, Bally, Gucci, Fendi Prada, or try Witchery, Scanlan Theodore, Cue and longchamps
Wear: Don’t go over board in the hardware department. Sleek and simple is good. If you spend alot make sure you choose black or brown and it will go with everything in your wardrobe. If you can spend more buy one in a colour or patent. Look for lady like structure rather than boho slouch.

What: A pencil skirt or a tulip skirt
Why: a nice change after all those 50’s skirt, they are sexy, flattering and a wardrobe staple
Where: from Scanlan and Theodore, Cue, Wayne Cooper, Max Mara, Veronika Maine
Wear: In black it’s table top dressing at it’s best ( draw attention from your waist up sitting at a table)
Wear: with a blouse tucked in, with a shrunken velvet blazer, boots, a peacoat.

What: city shorts
Why: They replace trousers and are cooler in every sense of word, will go from summer to winter in a minute. They are groovy ( the best reason of all).
Where: Witchery, Zimmerman, Scanlan & Theodore, Sportsgirl.
Wear: Go for black or brown, with a wedge shoe, a platform shoe, boots, a cropped jackets, a blouse. It’s another tabletop staple.

What: A dress
Why:because it ‘s pretty and feminine, because you don’t have to think when you get dressed, because it’s day to night dressing, and a perfect trans seasonal solution. Because it’s the item du jour for next summer (buy up big now) Because you feel like a woman.
Where: Cue, Veronika Maine, Sportscraft ( for the Burberry esque version), Zimmerman and Belinda. Chloe and Ferretti if you can.
Wear; Go for a pretty print chiffon with bell sleeves, a little black dress, a 50’s version, a sexy mama Versace look . You can’t go wrong. Wear with boots, the clunky shoe, under a trench, with a tweed princess coat, with a fur chubby at night.

What: wedges or platforms
Why: it’s the accessory that will instantly change your look from last season to this season. Because they make your legs look long, they add a funky edge to pretty lady like dressing so you won’t look like a Sloane ranger. Because they are hot.
Where: Nine West, Zu, Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Evelyn Miles, Prada,
Wear: Go for patent, round toe, peep toe, black or brown, or a dark navy. Look for subtlety in colour they are already over the top in shape. Wear with everything jeans to dresses.

What : A trench
Why: Because it never goes out of fashion, it replaces a winter coat and is so, so perfect for Sydney weather summer and winter, even in a drought. Because it adds a dash of lightness over black or brown. Because Audrey Hepburn always wore one.
Where: Burberry at David Jones of course, Gucci, Country Road, Sportscraft and MNG.
Wear: Go for a short belted version ( hip length) or long in classic stone or black. Wear over a pretty chiffon dress and boots, over a LBD and heels for dinner, over jeans and a T-shirt when you check in to be upgraded to first class.

What: A big fat wide belt
Why: because we haven’t seen the waist in years. Because it’s all about finishing off a look. In a colour it can break up black.
Where: YSL , Prada, Balenciaga or Try Cue, Country Road and Jag.
Wear: Ditch anything woven, or boho chic. Think patent, and simple. Go for colour or basic black and brown

Hot: Volume is the word du jour. It’s big! Be warned, the look is coming and all over the next fall/winter runways. Think 80’s loose silhouettes. Layering. Big tops, big skirts.
Black is back but only fashion editors can do top to toe black. Go for black that is embellished, with shine or texture. Break it up with tan, brown, navy and flashes of jewel colours in accessories.
Remember to tuck in your shirt and cinch in the waist with a belt and go for anything in patent. Look out for oversized sunglasses, a stripe T-shirt, and a long skinny stripe scarf.
Most important : Black opaque hosiery is back! Lose that gap between skirt and boots. Wear black tights with summer dresses a la Prada, with boots, wedges and even with open toe shoes. No, really.

NOT: Ditch boho, studded belts, hipsters, flares, bling and anything looking like Paris Hilton.

Zucchini flowers and Leek Tart from Gourmet Traveler

Autumn is the perfect time for picnics whiling away the last days of summer. This delicious, rich and naughty tart should be served with a light tomato and mint salad. You get less cellulite that way I am sure.
If you can’t find Zucchini flowers then a simple leek tart is just as fabulous.

You need :
2 tab olive oil and a nob of butter
3 leeks sliced thinly
1 garlic clove or 2
3 eggs
1 tab finely grated lemon rind and preserved lemon… if you’ve got it use it!
60ml dry white wine
120 g o gruyere or Swiss cheese
80 parmesan coarsely ground
A couple sheets o puff or short crust pastry
5 to 10 zucchini flowers with stamens removed and sliced in half lengthways
1 tabs lemon thyme

·Moisterisea tart tin
·Line with the puff pastry so you have a tart case
·Prick it with a fork
·Slice up the leeks, the zucchini flowers,
·Grate the lemon rind and the preserved lemon
·Makes sure your cheeses are ready to rock n roll and grated
·Saute the leeks, garlic in oil and butter till the leeks are soft and sexy
·Add salt to stop it burning
·After about 4 minutes you will need a wine
·Pour one for you and one for the leeks (60ml for the leeks ; they need to drive)
·Toss the wine on to the leeks and lets them get a bit tipsy
·Let them sit there, soak up the wine and season them with lots of salt, pepper and cool down
·If you add hot leeks to eggs you will have scrambled eggs
·In a bowl lightly beat the eggs
·Toss in the cheeses, the cooled down leeks, and the lemons. Give it a good mix
·Pour the leek mix into the pastry case
·Arrange the zucchini flowers on top in a very chic way, (head to toe is elegant)
·Scatter with thyme leaves and salt and pepper
·Whack in the oven and cook at 200 for 20 mins or until the pastry is cooked and a lovely golden colour. Think the Jennifer Aniston.
Fattening, rich and gorgeous! What a way to go..( only a couple more weeks in a bikini anyway…)

Proof …..Directed by John Madden. It’s the adaptation of David Auburn’s Pulitzer Prize-winning play
Who: Gwyneth Paltrow,(who was in the play) Anthony Hopkins, Jake Gyllenhaal, Hope Davis.
Genre: drama, romance.
The Plot: old, famous mathematician goes mad (Anthony Hopkins). His loving, daggy daughter (Gwyneth) looks after him for 5 years. She gives up her life, her wardrobe, (?!) her job and study. She frowns, cries, gets depressed, yells. A repeat of her Oscar speech. Father dies. She frowns. Cries. Gets depressed. Yells. She meets spunk rat Jake, the handsomest mathematician known to mankind. They frown. Kiss. Cry, Get depressed. Yell. Sister arrives. Ditto with more yelling. Gywneth reveals world class theory/equation/proof. Did she write it or her famous father? Is she is going mad? Who knows or who cares! Anyone who sulks like that should not get dates with guys like Jake.
Set design/Photography: Not memorable.
Wardrobe: How does a depressed nerd get into the simplest Armani black sheath dress and suddenly look divine? How does a depressed nerd throw on cute little hats, hipster trackie daks in just the right grey marle and look fabulous? The Proof wardrobe dept has never met an academic, sorry, a depressed academic.
Salon de Beaute: How does a depressed mathematician nerd (who never washes the dishes) keep her golden highlights looking so clean, silky and shiny? Must be Pantene. How did she learn to do that chic little casually knotted chignon?
Waterproof mascara? No need. Except to cry over Jake’s muscles.
Botox; Gywneth frowns and frowns to prove she is botox free. Good try.
Tom Cruise/Alien sighting: Anthony Hopkins character is mad and believes the Aliens are sending him signs. But wait, isn’t that scientology?
Smooches: She does ‘the rules’ to the letter (must be a mathematical equation) and gets her man.
Smokin’ smooches. Jake takes his shirt off. Kisses her. On top of her. She looks into his eyes and says “ I think I am going break open like a stinky French cheese” Jake knows it’s time to go back to Heath
Car chases: Would have made it exciting
Blood’n’guts: we could kill overacting Gywneth.
Best review: “Intense and compelling, Proof is an absorbing film that shows the intricacies of the human mind are as complex as a mathematical equation.” URBAN CINEFILE
Best worst review: “PROOF will put a lot of viewers right back where they left off in 12th-grade calculus: asleep.” NEW YORK POST
Rename it: Sylvia has A Beautiful mind (and beautiful hair, then meets Jake)
Moral to the story: ” Maths is precise. Life is sloppy.”
See it or donate to the Prada bag fund? You know that Prada bag on sale in David Jones? Buy it.
http://miramax.com/proof/