“ But no one’s going to be getting into a dress! Neither of us has the body for it, you know.” Tom Cruise ? No George Michael about his wedding to Kenny Gross
“ I can’t wait to get married.” Tom Cruise has the body for it.
“I was able to eat my entire dinner and still fit comfortably in my dress,” Nicole Ritchie? No she has never eaten her entire dinner. Kate Beckinsale.
“Women smell good. They look pretty. I love women. I do.” And Tom Cruise loves a dress too.
“I know I’m too thin right now, so I wouldn’t want any young girl looking at me and saying, ‘That’s what I want to look like.” Britney Spears? No. Nicole Ritchie explains why she has been on 30 fashion magazines covers since she lost weight.
“ I was coming out of the shower yesterday morning and I slipped and I have a hairline fracture in my foot. I can’t wear heels though. That’s the bad thing.” Tom Cruise? No Lindsay Lohan can’t wear heels. We won’t see her for a while. A good thing.
“Gawker Stalker totally nailed me. They said I was dressed like Claire Huxtable from ‘The Cosby Show.” Britney Spears? No. Jake Shears from The Scissor Sisters. Bless
“ We went to one dinner back in December, and that was it. No kissing. I read things about how he sent me a teddy bear and chocolates for Valentine’s Day, and I’m in my mailbox going, ‘Did he really?’ Because I didn’t get them.” Tom Cruise about George Clooney? No Teri Hatcher on George Clooney. (As if. George would never send a teddy bear).
“Kiss. Loads of kisses. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Most definitely.” Tom Cruise on what he will do when he sees George Cl…sorry Katie and the baby.
“I’m Catholic. Of course, they’re not going to run pictures of me in church,” Paris Hilton hasn’t been in one “but there’s a reason there aren’t any pictures of Paris Hilton in church. Although it has less to do with the paparazzi and more to do with her being unable to step into one without bursting into flames” The Superficial.

Joan Rivers once said that being in OA (‘Overweight Anonymous’) is impossible. Think about it. It’s true. This season overweight is impossible when you see all those the fabulous belts cinching in your waist. The one you want? The black, patent, wide, wide belt from Portmans. A must have. Wear it over sweaters, dresses, cardigans and tops. It will instantly transform your look into this season. First seen in the Oct 04 YSL show why has it taken so long to turn up in the cheap but chic department?. Why does it take so long to lose weight? Impossible to answer.

$24 Portmans Wide Black Patent Belt

Little known fact #1: the last time I wore black opaque hosiery was in the late 80’s. A long time ago. 16 years. Why, you may ask, was I wearing hosiery at the age of 5? I guess I was always ahead of the pack. Little known fact #2: opaque hosiery is now available with a low waist. How clever. Known fact #3. Black opaque hosiery is back. It’s hot. It’s the item du jour. Finally fashion is functional. You can cover your cellulite and keep warm. Wear them with everything from open toe shoes to summer dresses. Prada did so you can too. Best ones are from Wolford $75, Levante $39, Rede $24, Leona Edmiston Pins $17 and Razzmattaz $7.95 Remember it’s opaques or nothing. The only sheer you should be wearing is your lipgloss.

Fashion is so fabulous this winter. You can wear black, boots, coats, scarves and hosiery and even hats. Which should all bring a pretty glow to your face if only from burning up under all those layers. But if the blood is still drained from your face (from the Amex bill) grab the fabulous Benefit Flamingo Fancy coral body finish. It’s great in summer for baring the body and ideal in winter to give that extra luminescent glow on your face. Wear over your makeup for a gorgeous sun kissed look on your cheeks. You’ll look healthy even if your credit card isn’t. It’s the only coral pink you will ever see me wearing.

$40 Benefit Flamingo Fancy Body Finish from Myer.

In New York go to the hot new restaurant Buddakan designed by Christian Liaigre; it’s Thailand meets Louis 1V http://buddakannyc.com/
Photographers Inez van Lamsweerde and Vinoodh Matadin will shoot the fall-winter Miu Miu ad campaign at the Paris restaurant Laperouse ( same place as the show).
In movie news Helen Mirren will be playing the Queen of England twice. She is an HBO drama about Elizabeth the 1st and a movie directed by Stephan Frears about the Queen during the Diana years.
Thank You for Smoking has been getting rave reviews: http://www2.foxsearchlight.com/thankyouforsmoking/
Check out the trailer for the new film ‘Stolen’ about thieves disguised as policemen who robbed Boston’s Isabella Stewart Gardner museum and successfully executed the largest art heist in modern history. To date, not a single work has been recovered. http://stolenthefilm.com/
Filmmaker and Johnson & Johnson heir Jamie Johnson, who made the doco “Born Rich”, is screening his new project “The One Percent,” about the growing wealth gap at the Tribeca Film Festival.
Check out this cool web magazine on design, architecture views and news http://mocoloco.com/
Continuing a tradition set by Yves Saint Laurent, and followed by Tom Ford, Stefano Pilati appears nude in the May French Vogue shot by Sam Taylor-Wood.
Off to Venice this weekend? Head to the inauguration of François-Henri Pinault’s art foundation, Palazzo Grassi.
Sienna Miller will develop her own capsule collection for Pepe Jeans
Off to London check out the latest exhibit at the V&A on modernism http://www.vam.ac.uk/
Off to Greece? Stay at this groovy hotel http://www.relaischateaux.com/kirini/
Or here in Rhodes http://melenoslindos.com/ ( love the music!)
Can’t afford any more Manolo Blahniks? Buy the candle instead at Bergdorfs http://www.bergdorfgoodman.com

http://stylebubble.typepad.com/style_bubble/editorials/index.html
A cute blog about fashion and fashion magazines “ Susie Bubble’s musings, thoughts, takes, observations on the joys and trials and tribulations on the art of fashion/style.”

http://lipstick.com/
It’s not about lipstick it’s about ‘celebrity news that matters to you’. All oxymorons.

TomKat will marry in July, after signing a $40 million prenup “ I only give it a couple months though. You’d be surprised how hard it is to maintain a marriage when the wife is locked in the basement and the husband spends all his time at gay bathhouses.” Thesuperficial
Calvin Klein is divorcing his wife Kelly, ten years after they separated. Ditto
‘Though now sober Courtney Love is still flashing her wilted ladyflower. Apparently Love showed up unannounced and played a set with Smashing Pumpkins in New York “She pulled a Paris Hilton, and it looked like she could use a good wax.” Says an onlooker Ewwww
Paris Hilton has split from Stavros Niarchos who is kissing L.Lo ( Lindsay Lohan).
Paris has been seen with quarterback Matt Leinart while disguised in a brown wig. “ There’s no explanation for the wig, but I imagine it’s to seem smarter than she actually is. So when somebody makes a blonde joke she doesn’t understand she can laugh and pretend she knows what the word ‘chastity’ means.” Thesuperficial.
Jack White and model Karen Elson had a baby called Scarlett White. So her name is Red White? Pinkisthenewblog
Jennifer and Vince are moving in together.
Avril Lavigne wants to get hitched but her family wants her to wait, They caution her about young marriage with two words: Britney Spears.
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt set the record straight on the most widely circulated myths :
• Pitt is not trying to convince Jolie to join the cast of Ocean’s 13. (Sorry, George.)
• Jolie is not looking to adopt a Namibian infant – at least not right now.
• Jolie’s ill mom is not near death and did not ask Jolie to give birth in France as a “dying wish.”
• Pitt did not purchase for Jolie a “fidelity necklace” as a pre-baby wedding gift.
• Finally, Jolie is not planning to buy a small African nation of her own or drink Brads blood
Keith Richards suffered a brain haemorrhage after he fell from a palm tree and will now have an operation to drain his skull. But wait ! there’s nothing in there.
Maggie Gyllenhaal has fallen prey to the ravages of manic pregnancy hormones … how else would you explain her appearance on the Martha Stewart Show?” pinkisthebnewblog
Scarlet Johanssen hid her face behind a placard saying, ‘I’m being harrassed by the person taking this picture.’Maybe somebody should let Scarlett know holding a giant sign over your face isn’t the best way to avoid attention. If she’s really looking to go unnoticed, she should try my patent pending method of putting on a giant chicken costume and running through the city making clucking noises”

Elements of Style (Hardcover) by Wendy Wasserstein
This is the first novel of the late renowned playwright Wendy Wasserstein. “Her final work is a fitting tribute as the book is a terrific look at the upper crust of New York just after 9/11. Upper East Side pediatrician Francesca “Frankie” Weissman doesn’t have quite as much disposable income as the Manolo moms and Bonpoint babies that frequent her office. Frankie desperately wants the same lifestyle of her patients as she ignores the trappings of being a card (credit that is) carrying member of the affluent. Wasserstein gets the trappings and tribulations (of friendship and of romance) right, making her depiction of the rich and fab trying to connect with one another witty and entertaining’
$14 http://www.amazon.com/ Publisher: Knopf (April 18, 2006)

The Debutante Divorcee by Plum Sykes
Plum Sykes ( from US Vogue) jet-setted to bestsellerdom with ‘Bergdorf Blondes’ and this is her second novel. ‘Lauren Blount’s life is beautifully arranged: she’s very rich, very young, very thin, very pretty — and very, very divorced. She is the most reckless and glamorous of Manhattan’s Debutante Divorcée set and navigating a world of Divorce Showers and Power Christenings, Socialite Babies, Professional Friends, Gorgeous West Village Wives, and Un-Googleable Men. Light, wicked, name-dropping fun.
$29 Publisher: Miramax/Miramax (April 18, 2006) at Leslie MacKays Book store

The Christmas List
Phaidon Design Classics (Hardcover) by Editors of Phaidon Press
A must buy for all design aficionados “PHAIDON DESIGN CLASSICS is the first comprehensive collection of classic design objects and presents 999 industrially manufactured products. From cars to furniture, from tableware to cameras, from everyday objects to airplanes, it’s all here. Presented chronologically beginning with an elegant pair of Chinese bonsai scissors from the early 1600s, still in production today, it ends with Barber Osgerby’s Lunar bath accessories. The book includes Le Corbusier, Eames,and Castiglioni, but also anonymously designed pieces such as the clothes peg, the corkscrew and the chopstick.
$110 http://www.amazon.com/ Publisher: Phaidon Press (April 13, 2006)

What’s hot this week? The Lanvin platforms are everywhere: Head to sportsgirl for a version in tan or black with a cork platform about $100 ; Witchery has a version with a brown wooden platform and heel , almost sold out, be quick for $149: Midas has ones with a dark platform for $268 and check out Mollini for their version for around $128. Don’t wear any other shoe. Ditch the pointy toe stilettoes. Now. The Roland Mouret dress with cap sleeves, square neckline and a little thin self belt ( as seen worn by Sienna and Kiera) is also everywhere this week. Head to Witchery for one in black $159; Portmans for virtually the same dress for $99 or of course check out Cue for the dress in different colours for about $249. The Chloe/Burberry dress is turning up absolutely everywhere as well . Which dress is this? It’s from the fall 05 collections. Let me describe it. It has long tulip sleeves, V neck, fitted waist and a flared skirt. A very flattering shape it looks great with boots and a scarf a la Chloe. Sportscraft have a great version of the Burberry print dress in rust and black and sportsgirl have a cute version in purple chiffon $199. Witchery has it in black or navy jersey $129 and Country Road has it in a purple and black print cotton jersey $199.
Economy Class:
Sportsgirl: Check out the short tweed shorts $129; the navy cuffed shorts $69; the brown and black tweed, expensive looking classic pants $89; the navy and black shoes string tank $39 and the fitted cotton khaki jacket with white stitching also in navy; it’s casual and it won’t keep you warm but good trans seasonal piece for $89. There is a lot of casual pieces in sportsgirl so buy the basic tanks and the jeans.
Esprit: best pieces here are the velvet blazers and the fake fur chubby. New is a cheap but chic tweed grey or white 8 buttons peacoat $229.
Witchery: Love the very chic green and navy stripe silk cami; a great print $89; and also like the puff sleeve drape T ‘s $49 and the black fur trim nylon parka is the go for $149. The quilted Sloane Ranger zip front vests are here and they are in navy, black and cream $99. Handy for those weekends away. Buy the short boots in black suede with a chunky heel. I am not a fan of short ankle boots with dresses but they are groovy $189. Buy the Lanvin style fabric covered ribbon beads $49 and the large link bronze chain necklaces, very Louis Vuitton $39. Also check out the black, chiffon, sheer Victoriana blouse now reduced to $79.( the buttons are down the front so wear it back to front. True.) Buy the handy sleeveless zip hoodie in black and grey $49 so you can wear under a jacket. The round toe ballet flats are fab $129. Do I need to remind you to buy the black trench? I hope not.
Portmans: speaking of black trenches they have done their own version here with black buttons, epaulettes, belted , a good buy for $149; Also check out the black and white spot blouse with frills $89; the choc brown cord blazer $99; and of course the clip on belts here are cool in black and white stretch $24.
FCUK: Have a nylon quilted buttons thro vest with a hood and rib knit collar $99 in black.
Cue: New pieces in we love are: a fab black velvet pinstripe fitted short puff sleeve jacket $349 plus the matching tulip skirt with black ribbon belt $125. Gorgoeus. Also check out the handy choc brown velvet evening jacket $215; the must have B & W tweed dress $199 (a great cut its fitted on the bodice but goes into a tulip skirt to hide all manner of things such as muffin tops and thighs not seen in public); the cool skinny dark denim jeans $115. Also love the V neck camel sweater $95 and the black Victoriana puff sleeves , belted blouse $149.
Mollini: check out the fab wedge boots in black $199; the cute black satin ballet flats with a jeweled toe and bow but they do have a rubber sole $148 ; the gold must buy pointy toe sling back flats $128 and also check out the gold heels seen on the sale table $75. There are square toe flats in black with tiny brass studs on toe; subtle so don’t be afraid $128. They are just the thing to wear if you don’t want to do ballet flats
Events: Love the rabbit fur bobble scarves in here in black, and purple $89 also check out the black and white spot chiffon shirt $179.
Tony Bianco: well done, I see the first sighting of the Lanvin platform peep toes sling backs in black patent $109!! http://www.tonybianco.com.au/

Business Class
Jigsaw: the best buys here is the patchwork very Missoni long zig zag colourful scarf $79. Also check out the brown tweed pants $229; the rib knits $95 and the peacoats now reduced to $179. There is a chic black velvet blazer $249; a classic single breasted black and white tweed princess coat $429 and a basic black pencil skirt $179. I see watermelon and peach and too much lilac.
Veronika Maine: Check out the knits here. There are oversized, wide neck and V neck (very next winter Marc Jacobs/Prada) and would be perfect belted in choc $95.Buy the deep V rib grey sweater $95; and of course the dresses here are great in chiffon $249.
Country Road: Check out the Chloe style black satin full skirt with a contrast velvet hem $229; the dark grey fitted, ribbed through the waist, V neck cardigan $129; the black cotton cami with white lining is very chic $119; and so is the blue/grey/teal cotton empire T shirt with a short tulip sleeve $79. Check out the dark grey cuffed city shorts $159 and the big chunky knit cardigan with a huge floppy oversize collar $229.
Lisa Ho: Check out the very luxurious fur chubby in dark grey or black $999; the round neck Victoriana black jersey top $199; the lace trim Victoriana shirt $399; the cable ‘diamond’ wool coat in brown or navy $879. The black and white zebra print shift dress with jet detail across the waist a la Prada is perfect for the races $579. It has a matching coat but don’t wear them together. Check out the white silk pin tuck shirt $299 and all the divine jewellery from Ericson Beamon and Emmanuelle. Plus don’t forget the fab evening dresses.
Zimmerman: Best pieces are the black tulip sleeved coat $792, and jacket $540 and wide cuffed pants in a light weight wool with black covered buttons. Buy the sheer wool cap sleeve empire T-shirts, handy and a new shape $150. The Chloe style jersey dress is here $385 plus the black and white spot chiffon frill sleeve dress is lovely and so is the shirt in the same fabric $418. A lot of bright purple and teal here plus hot pink. Very 80’s. I’ve lived through that. Not again.
Bettina Liano: The jackets are the best pieces here so please go past all that lace and sexy numbers. The cotton twill military peacoats with brass buttons are cool in black, cream or navy $569 and so is the black and white tweed fur trim jacket $539. Also buy the oft reported ruffle sleeveless black organza blouse.
Funkis: have a cool label called Jac and Jack and I like the empire T-shirts with crochet drape trim $90. Also check out the grey A line skirts in a thick jersey fabric (flattering cut) $145 and the high neck tiered dress in black and white spot $159. Just love this store.

First Class:
Fendi In David Jones: Do you want the good news or the bad? The good news is the hot de la hot, must have, seen in all the magazines patent B Fendi bags are here and just arrived yesterday. There is the black patent one with chain handles $2435 and a smaller version in cream canvas with leather patent trim $1995. The bad news there are only one of each. So hurry in there. The other bad news is that the famous black patent Fendi belt will not be here till September. Outrageous.
Chloe bags in David Jones: The other hot bag du jour is here. The tall dark grey tote with two straps and multiple zips in brass and silver is here $3095, also in a short version in black $2995 with a silver zip. (also in brown ). The Paddington bags are still here in tan $2999 and there is also the Silverado bag in blue, white and a light tan $2195. But there are too many copies around now.
Prada shoes in David Jones; Check out the spring summer shoes; Go for the embossed Prada coat of arms stamped wedge canvas espadrilles in neutral $675; the cream pointy flats with a gold buckle on the top $699; and the silver ballet flats in punched leather $660. There are fab caramel sling backs with a tortoiseshell ring detail on the toe $699; the black round toe heels $650. Also check out the Chloe wooden platforms with tan straps $475.There are some new Miu Miu shoes arrived in : check out round toe flats with the bow front $525 , the plaited strap sandals $299 in silver; the black jet jewel encrusted T bar heels in black satin $699. The silver grey pointy toe flats with big buckle $599 are rather fabulous.
Louis Vuitton: Some of the nicest people in Castlereagh st are working here, all very professional and knowledgeable of every piece of their merchandise, a delight to go in (and dream about) spending thousands. The spring summer collection is here: All amazing but very stitched up and fifties so it makes it very dressed. More formal than Chloe which you could throw on and feel relaxed or Prada which you could wear every day. Buy the divine white 50’s style shift dress with a jeweled waist and marry George Clooney in it $$; or buy the sexy white jeans $$; the amazing gold brocade mini skirt $1970; or the black taffeta huge bow front sleeveless top $1960. Drool over the black taffeta round neck very 50’s couture suit $3500; the black and white stripe knit top cardigan $700; the navy peacoat with fabulous paisley lining $2600 and the stone/camel military jacket $2100. The dark navy knit cardigan with jeweled front $2600 is adorable. In the shoe department you will love the yellow patent shoes with a white wedge heel $800; the very Versace 80’s multi strap heels in hot pink and purple $950 with a stiletto heel and the amazing daisy flower front flats T bar sandals with an ankle strap $800 seen in all the magazines. Divine.

Pear, Honey and Polenta Cake
It seems I still have my head buried in The River Cafe but this week it’s the River Café Cook Book Green (the vegetarian one). Their cakes are always sensational. If you have made their lemon Polenta cake (from FiFi Report #88 ) you would know that I am talking about the most delicious cake ever known to mankind. This is the pear and honey version, the most delicious cake ever known to woman kind.

You need (for 10 x size 10 or for 30 models)
1 kg pears
130 polenta
50g honey
350g unsalted butter
250 caster sugar
4 large eggs
130g blanched almonds ground coarsely
40g plain flour
1 teasp baking powder

·Zest of 2 lemons or about dessertspoon of rinsed and chopped preserved lemon
·It’s a slow cook so preheat oven just to 150
·Moisterise a cake tin with lots of butter and line it with baking paper or you may have a collapsing cake on your Gucci
·Grind up the almonds in a whizzzer coarsely
·They say to peel the pears but who can be bothered? So just dice them up into cute little bits size cubes
·Melt 80g butter and then add
·the honey, honey and caramelize the butter
·Then add the pears and let them cook and go soft so they smell quite gorgeous
·Make sure the pears are all coated with the outrageously sensational butter and honey. Turn off heat and let them sit there.
·Now beat the remaining butter with the sugar together so they are soft
·Beat in eggs one by one to the butter and sugar mix
·Mix the almonds with the baking powder and the polenta
·Toss the almond polenta into the butter and egg mix and fold it in like a Prada shirt in your wardrobe; softly and neatly
·Then more folding: this time fold in the pears, lemons and honey and do it as carefully as a divine Alberta Ferretti beaded dress
·Gently spoon it all into the cake tin then lick the bowl. ( no calories in that)
·And bake for about 1 to 1 ¼ hours
·It should be dark on top and quite moist inside
·Give thanks to the God of fattening food and take a bow for your adoring fans
·Amen.

Risotto alla Milanese …From The River Café Cookbook
The weather turns and there is only one thing to do : open up The River Cafe Cook book and start making a big bowl of heart warming risotto. This one is simple and superb with their Ossobucco Bianco ( see FiFi Report #).
With a generous teaspoon of saffron and a dash of vermouth makes it creamy and rich …

For 6 hungry types
You need:
1 litre of chicken stock
150g unsalted butter
2 tabs olive oil (non designer)
1 red onion
300 g Arborio rice
1 teasp saffron threads soaked in a little stock
75ml vermouth
200g grated parmesan

·Heat the chicken stock to simmering
·Throw on your big new oversized Tom Ford aviator sunglasses, apply lashings of waterproof mascara and then finely chop the pretty red onion ( which is really pink).
·Pour a wine, pop on the music there is a lot of stirring
·Melt the butter and oil in a big saucepan and gently cook the onion…in fact you can sweat them. Turn it down low sprinkle with salt so they don’t burn and pop on the lid for about ten minutes so they don’t change colour but just soften.
·Take off the heat for a second while you add the rice till its totally covered in all that lovely butter and oil.
·Return to low heat and start the Risotto process: throw in 2 ladles of stock and keep stirring till its absorbed
·Add the saffron and watch as it’s the sot pink hue floods the risotto for a second
·Repeat the stock and rice stirring action again and again
·Great for the upper arm workout
·Keep going till all the stock has been absorbed by the rice and the rice is al dente rich and creamy
·At the end before serving you must toss in the big lump of butter, the vermouth and the Parmesan. Don’t even stir it as it will just all melt together. Remember the golden rule in cooking: add butter and alcohol and you can’t go wrong. If you don’t have vermouth just use wine
·Delcious !
·Tip: make Soda bread for mopping up all the juices

The Squid and the Whale… Directed by Noah Baumbach
Who: Jeff Daniels, Laura Linney, Jesse Eisenberg
Genre: Drama, drama, drama and a few laughs.
The Plot: 1986 New York. Watch a family disintegrating before your very eyes. Extraordinarily self centered, mean, insecure literary teacher /writer father hates newly successful writer mother. He moves out. They share the kids. Younger son gets into the booze and girls. Elder brother adores father, finds a girlfriend, plagiarizes Pink Floyd song and wins school competition. Mother runs off with Tennis coach. He wears a bandana. Bless.
Acting: Fantastic. You forget you are watching a movie. Owen Kline as the younger son “ is a revelation, If they can bear to see their little boy cursing like a sailor, drinking up a storm, and masturbating like a fanatic, parents Kevin Kline and Phoebe Cates have a lot to be proud of.” LA Times
Photography: Photographed in a rough-hewn, French New Wave style befitting its alienated characters,” NEWSDAY
Set design: so Eighties. Posters, wooden tables, daggy couches.
Salon de Beaute: Did we really wear out hair like that? (you did).
Wardrobe: did we really wear our jeans so high up in 1986? Did we really wear those horrible tapered trousers? Did we really wear those shoes? And we will again.
Waterproof mascara: Indispensible.Wickedly funny, painfully poignant. Laugh.Cry.
Botox: triple the dose and you won’t have enough. This movie is frown inducing.
Smooches: minor smooches. The only smooching is when there is one person in the sex scene. If you know what I mean.
Blood’n’guts: only heart wrenching.
Best review: “Beautifully written, moving and frequently hilarious drama with terrific performances and superb, Oscar-nominated dialogue - this is one of the best films of the year.” VIEWLONDON
Best Review 2 “this movie makes you want to hit these stupid parents on the head with a mallet until they come to their senses and realize their poison is contaminating their children.” ATLANTIC CITY WEEKLY
Best worst review: There are no bad reviews. It gets a whopping 95% positive review on rottentomatoes.com
Rename it: The Ice Storm 1986.
See it or donate to the Prada bag fund? You know your (mother’s) old Prada bag from 1986? It’s time to bring it out. You don’t need a new Prada bag this week you need fabulous movie making.
http://www.squidandthewhalemovie.com/